23/01/2010

Dorset League Division 2

Puddletown 0  Sturminster Marshall Res 8

Stur travelled to Puddletown and returned home with three points and a plus eight in the goal difference column after registering a crushing win over the struggling home side.

The pitch had a slope like Kilimanjaro and looked as though it had suffered a recent invasion by a hoard of anally unconstrained rabbits but the visitors were not flustered and took the game by the scruff straight from the kick off. Even though they were kicking down the steep slope, the home side were under pressure from the start. The only real surprise about the opening goal was that it took twenty minutes to arrive. A goal bound shot from Erkan Mete deflected off Ciaran Miller's heel and ended up in the back of the net. Ten minutes later it was two nil. Ryan Hall took a quick free kick, Andy Jones laid it back and Luke Geddes coolly passed the ball into the bottom corner of the net. The third goal came five minutes before the break when Steve Johnston picked up a headed clearance and drove the ball straight back past the keeper and into the net.

HT: 3-0

Having scored in the 20th, 30th and 40th minutes, the routine nature of the victory was emphasised when the unfortunate home keeper punched a corner straight into his own net in the 50th minute. Five minutes later Ciaran Miller had a great chance but obviously didn't want to spoil the goal-every-ten-minutes pattern and so skied his shot over the bar. Sure enough, the fifth goal came on the hour and it was Luke Geddes who slotted home from a narrow angle after the keeper parried a shot from Matt Jones.

Luke Geddes decided he would rather have his hat trick than keep the pattern going and so when the keeper punched the ball straight to his feet after 65 minutes he slotted the ball straight into the empty net. The unfortunate home goalkeeper was given some stick from his colleagues for his mistake, but I'm not really sure what he was expected to do against the tide of red shirts which were attacking his goal almost at will.

Erkan Mete almost got the pattern back on track after 70 minutes but forgot that he had already scored his one free kick for this season and so curled one just over the bar. He wasn't to be denied for long though, and netted number seven in the 73rd minute when he curled a corner straight into the goal. Steve Johnston rounded off the scoring when he took a superb pass from Matt Jones on his chest and rounded the demoralised home keeper.

To his credit, the Puddletown keeper certainly wasn't lacking in courage and his bad day was complete just before time when he challenged the onrushing James Foster for a ball and took a size 10 just south of the equator for his pains. The referee then took pity on the poor lad and blew the final whistle before he could be subjected to any more brutal punishment.