View From The Churchill

If it is reasoned debate and erudite deliberation you are in search of I suggest you read no further. If, however, you want to read ill informed opinion spouted by a drunken half-wit, you have come to the right place - read on.

Thank the Lord for the return of the real football season. At last I no longer have to rely on the nancy boy games which are passed off as sports during the close season. Tennis. For goodness sake! What’s all that about? I mean come on! I can understand the attraction of the women's matches, at least then you've got something nice to watch bouncing up and down the screen in a nice gym-skirt or whatever. But watching two men hit a furry green ball around a patch of grass at a hundred miles per hour just doesn’t cut it for me.

Mind you, tennis is by no means the most boring sport on the box. That title is beyond any shadow of a doubt shared between the “sports” of darts and snooker. Snooker! It might be interesting if they had a punch up or something. Especially if they were allowed to take their cues into the ring with them. I might even take it up myself just for the chance of bashing “Rocket” Ronnie O’Sullivan over the head with a lump of wood. And what about darts? Two beer bellied tramps chucking little metal spikes at a lump of wood whilst some mentally deranged commentator screams inane gibberish at the unhinged imbeciles in the audience! Listen. Darts is not a sport. It is a pub pastime engaged in by social inadequates dressed in nylon shirts and plastic trainers.

Cricket? It certainly has something to be said for it. Any sport which enables you to tell the missus you’re off to the match and then come home five days later has to be respected, but it is more an excuse for a booze up than a sport.

Rugby league is now a summer sport. I actually prefer the Union version. And that is saying something. If I had to pick between spending my Saturday afternoon amongst a crowd of Hooray Henries or a bunch of Yorkshire tramps, the Hooray’s just about edge it.

Thank the Lord for the return of real sport. Thank the Lord for real football. Bring it on!

Everything on this page is an opinion. In my addled mind that makes it a fact - from a legal point of view however, it is only opinion. Any offence caused is intentional.

GK